Healthy kids
Everyone wants a healthy kid, and parents do what they can to ensure that the children are in the pink of health.
From conception to pregnancy, some mummies would up their vitamin intake/folic acid, change their diet, avoid seafood etc, to make sure that they are in good shape for the baby, and all the good nutrients would go to the one in the womb.
Post-delivery, mummies will try to breastfeed, with the belief that breastmilk is the best. There has been a change of tide, from the push to feed formula milk, to now pro-breastfeeding.
I bottle feed with breast milk for 8 months, and I like to believe that it has helped to make the twins strong.
But nothing prepared us for the time when they first start childcare. The frequency of the girls visiting the doctor was scary. Every other week or 2, we went to the GP to get medication. They had coughs, fever, runny nose. Thank god they were nothing major, yet, when the frequency was so high, I got really worried.
Questions and guilt came: Did I do my part to watch my diet when I was breastfeeding? Maybe I was too lax with giving them vitamins and minerals that they need? How about their intake of food and milk?
There is no direct answer. In an attempt to improve their health, we decided to try Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). The physician advised that their bodies are “weak and cooling”. When I heard this, my heart sank and the guilt factor rose. I could feel that subconsciously, there were comments and thoughts that blamed me for it.
A friend said to me, “Exposing them to the outside environment is also a way of building up their health by maturing their immunity system.”
“You have done what you can, and it is up to the child’s body to adapt to the environment.”
That last statement eased my guilt. I am sure many parents, especially mummies, face such situations once a while.
Take the advice and comments from others with a pinch of salt, observing and paying attention to the child plus doing what is possible to treat each symptom or illness as they come, while improving their diet and health through food and keeping them happy goes a long way into ensuring the optimal health of a child.
I’m still on the learning curve, I’ve come to accept that there’s only so much we can do for prevention.
So don’t feel guilty. Do your best, and God will take care of the rest.
The working mom and stay home mom
I chance upon an article this morning, about an expert who declared that all moms should stay at home. (Read the article if you are keen)
I read further and saw the comments on this, and not surprisingly, there were many who felt that this statement is simply too general, and it’s very debatable to say the least.
Emotions were strong in some, some related to the statement, some felt that they don’t have a choice and have to be working mothers.
Stay Home moms — the pros
I’ve seen and heard some experiences of a stay home mom. The obvious benefits of staying home is that one is always there when the child has his firsts: first time walking, first time calling mommy, first time crawling etc. It’s also the joy that kids bring and the laughter. One friend told me she would give up her career anytime, and does not regret making the choice of being a full time stay home mom. She loves being with her kids, bringing them to classes, being totally involved.
Financially, she rather spends on the family, and the children. They lived simply and most of the budget would rather be channeled to the kids’ learning and expenses rather than on herself.
Stay home moms — the not-so-great points
Some common points that I have heard from friends who stay at home:
- Not being themselves anymore. They are just known as someone’s mommy when they bring the kids to school.
- No personal time
- Husband do not always appreciate that staying at home is hard work too.
- Not as much freedom in spending on themselves
- Losing touch with friends and the world
It really depends on the character and personality of the individual, some of these points may not affect them at all, or have very minimal effect. Another common point though, some have indicated to me that they do hope to go back to work, but on a flexi-time basis.
Working moms – the pros
Despite some complaints that I have heard about some people not having a family friendly environment, I do think that there’s pros to being a working mom.
- Being connected to adults. (Try asking a stay home mom to relish the time that you don’t have a kid screaming “mommy!” all the time)
- Financially independent (in dual income families)
- Having some personal time (especially important when you are the type who wants the personal space)
- Self identity intact. You are still you at work, not known as someone’s mommy only.
Working moms – the not-so-great points
- Not enough time in the day to be with the kids
- Missing out on the “firsts”
- Not having enough rest because after work, when you go back home, you still have the mommy duties to handle
- Could potentially be more stressful because there’s stress coming from work, home and kids.
- If the working environment is not family friendly, there’s potential of imbalance in work/family time.
My own take
I’m a working mother. I know myself very well that being a full time stay home mom is not something I want to do. It’s not because I don’t love my kids. I do, but I love my own personal time and being able to earn my own keep as well.
I’m lucky that the nature of my job allows me to work from home, though this is not an arrangement that works well for me with 2 toddlers running about. I also have the flexibility of time, and a very understanding boss who focuses on the results, not whether I’m in the office or how many hours I spend in office. In many ways, I have probably unconsciously chosen companies that are more flexi with working hours, and am grateful that I’ve met my fair share of good bosses as well. I have also done my part in ensuring that the work gets done, so that I’m in a position to ask for some arrangements that suits both my family and work responsibilities.
Ultimately, there’s really no 1 set of arrangement that would work for everyone. Be it a working mom or a stay home mom, it’s really a choice of what the priorities are. Rightly said, there’s no right or wrong on how to be a mom. As long as we do our best, we are happy with our choices, then that would make us a good mom.
It is impossible to please everyone, and one thing I’ve learned is that I can only please myself. When I’m happy with what I have done for the family and myself, I can be a better person, and then I can be a better mom. A family unit is all about cooperation and team work, so it is also equally important that the spouse is mutually agreeable and comfortable with whatever arrangements that work for the family.
Defining your priorities is the first step, work out the finances and speak to the husband. There is always a way to work out something, and don’t feel guilty if there are comments about the type of choices you make as a mom, and as an individual.
Mommy is just one of the many hats we put on, not the only one that matters.
Think family
Saw a TV ad last evening.
The setting was at a funeral. The wife was speaking to everyone and instead of talking about how good her husband was, she spoke about how he snored, imitating the sounds he made when asleep, sometimes waking himself up with his own snore. It was funny, and then, she told everyone, it’s the familiar snores that reminds her that he was still alive when his cancer got worse.
The thing that striked me the most was this phrase that she said to her children.
“I wish you will find someone as imperfectly perfect as your Dad.”
I teared hearing that phrase.
Some of us spend our lives, trying to find the perfect partner, perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, only to realise that there’s no perfection. Even if that one person manages to come across as perfect in the courtship days, when the honeymoon period is over, the imperfections or the very quirky bits that attracts become the qualities that irk the most.
A friend mention that there’s no such thing as a long term relationship because humans are not built that way. It is all about breeding, the survival of species. When the brood is completed, the relationship does not hold any more purpose, so the parties would move on.
But it is things like the ad that reminds one that relationships, especially marriage, is not just about breeding or producing the next generation. It is that, plus a whole lot more. Humankind are not animals, some of us may sow the seeds to produce the next generation, but it’s the bond and the family and a strong marriage that nurtures the very little person that is “produced”.
Appreciation of a person as he or she is, is often not the easiest to do. How do we look beyond the appearance, the perception of who we think the person is, versus who they really are, is at best, a skill we acquire with experience. Some of us are good at “sizing” up people, some of us truly see people as they are.
Whatever it is, the basis of family, I believe, is built on a strong marriage, which is backed up by a great partnership and love between 2 people. With this basis, a strong family unit can be built, and the children can benefit from the love and joy of this partnership and be the best that they can be.
I pray that the day where we build love upon love can become wide-spread, and more nuclus family can have a strong bond and love.
2nd birth experience
This birth experience is different from the first in many ways.
C-section with epidural wasn’t new to me, I knew what to expect, what’s the process and all.
Some of the interesting incidents:
- The nurse had to extract a sample of my blood for matching, in case I bleed during the operation. 1st attempt by the staff nurse, she tried to extract blood from the back of my right hand. OUCH! It was painful, the flow of blood was slow, and in the end it wasn’t sufficient! I still have a bruise now. The nurse manager came to extract my blood again, this time taking it from my left elbow. This time it was much smoother, and no pain at all!
- At the operating theatre, I had to ask the nurse to apply more pressure on my legs as they were injecting the spinal block from the back. The nurse said, “Huh, but I got no strength”. The doctor quickly said that “aiyo, you didn’t eat breakfast ar? This mummy so calm, can advise you” 
The nurse also turned me on my back again too slowly, resulting in my left side feeling numb first before the right. I felt sensation back on my right side first post-operation.
- The effects of epidural was felt very immediately when the operation started. I felt nauseous but the doctor can’t give me anything to ease the effects prior to the delivery of the baby. This didn’t happen in the delivery of the twins.
- My cheeks were flushed with blood, the chest area felt a lot of pressure when they were trying to push the baby out. It was almost as though I was pushing the baby out together with everyone. In no time, the baby was out! Had more time with her as well, they put her on my chest so that we could look at her and take some pics.
- Hubby was in the theatre with me this time, when he came in, the incision was already done, I felt that this time we could participate in the birth more. But it was really a non-event, because everyone blocked his view during the pushing process
- I had more rest after changing to a single room this time. Paid more for sure but the amount of rest and privacy I got this time was much better. The girls came on Day 3, and there was also more space for them to move about, had a short nap too.
- First time off the bed wasn’t as painful as the previous time. Perhaps it’s due to experience, I already know what to expect.
- Milk supply kicked in much earlier than the last time. I decided on full time expressing and quietly ignored the friendly advise of the Parent Craft counselor to start latching on the minute I was transferred to the ward. I decided to let the nurse feed the baby formula milk, until I felt better on Day 2, after the drip is removed and when I was more mobile. The milk supply came in on Day 3 afternoon, after my efforts to use the pump in the hospital from Day 2 onwards.
My own pump worked better as compared to the hospital pump, and I could finish expressing in 30mins instead of 1 hour in the hospital.
- Less visitors this time round meant I had more time on my own to rest, to watch tv and rest.
Overall, I think experience does count. After surviving twins, a single baby seems much easier, although everyone at home has to recall how to care for a newborn again. We felt blessed that this little one was a good drinker, (she is drinking up to 90ml now!), her good birth weight made it easier to care for her as she’s more sturdy to hold and carry.
The adventure of the first year begins again!
Becoming the toddler who roams freely without fear again
The past weeks have been eventful. Resuming my spiritual journey has brought about numerous events that trigger the various reactions in me, and brought me forward in my personal growth.
A friend(in fact 2) commented that I am somebody who uses my logic and brain too much, and I don’t feel enough. One of them recommended me the book, Living in The Heart, by Drunvalo Melchizedek. I read it, and found that it makes a lot of sense, the heart is where our “home” is.
For a long time, I have been trying to connect with my high self and guides, without any “direct” results. Although I do sense their presence, and the communications in terms of synchronicities and messages from all around, I’m not really able to have any “direct” communications with them. After reading the book and being bombarded by the “feel” more comments continuously, I think I became a little to eager to change things, and the lack of results resulted in some frustration in me.
My understanding of what Drunvalo has said, if we want to connect with our higher self, we need to first get in touch and connect with our “lower self”, which is the subconscious mind, and this lower self happens to be of the age of around 4 years old. So, we need to become child like in order to connect with our lower self. Once the lower self agrees, we’ll be able to connect with the higher self.
In my eagerness to switch to a more feelings based person, I found a struggle in me, because I’m someone who for some reason likes to do a lot of researches and read on “theories”, which I can feel irks some of my friends, who are more “feelings” based and can’t appreciate the theories. Haha… so one of them commented that I’m an introverted thinker, which prompted me to research more on my personality…well what else but research, it’s me. I found that I’m a INTJ. I do have my intuitions, and I’m indeed an introvert who thinks a lot, and based my judgements on facts backed by theories, and I enjoy doing researches and theories heaps. So, there’s no point trying to change things too much, especially it’s something I enjoy doing a lot. I just need to learn to balance things out.
This morning, finally I hear the voice which tells me, “My child, it’s perfectly alright to be a thinker, an introvert, or whatever you are now, this is what you have chosen to do in this life, you are as good as you can be at this moment. Just remember that you can always “come home”, to the heart, and you can do that at your will, whenever you want to. This is a place where you come in to rest, contemplate, chill out and just do what you like to do, to feel the unconditional love I have for you and to recharge”.
I finally feel I’m the toddler who is able to roam freely and know that there’s always a “home” and a loving Mother that I can go back to when I’m tired or afraid. Thank you! And thanks to the friends, who have nudged me in this direction.
Parenting – a team effort
Lately I have been speaking to various people. Some ask me about possible childcare arrangements, others relate to me the problems that they are facing as a parent.
Ifeel that parenting is a team effort. The team can be the couple, the first-time mother with her mum, maid+mother, part-time cleaners + couple, childcare centres, grandparents, external support group, friends etc. There can be various combination, schedules, arrangements set up in different families just to provide the adequate care for a newborn.
I am lucky. I stay with my in-laws, and my hubby is very hands-on with the kids. Again, having twins also meant that we needed extra pairs of hands where possible, especially during the initial period when I was coping with healing from the delivery, getting the hang of breastfeeding, learning how to be a mummy.
Some other first time mummies may not have that luxury of having trusted caregivers or that they find that the “volunteer” caregivers have very different ideas of parenting and experience to take care of a newborn.
I remembered having arguments with MIL during the first few weeks when I first came back home with the twins. Difference in opinions regarding confinement practices, what the cries of the babies meant, ideas about breast milk, hormonal changes — all these contributed to the stress and tears in that initial period. And then, we learned. Both me and her, and everyone else. We give and take, we discover new ways of adapting to the babies, deciphering their cries, anticipating their needs. Our bodies adjusted to naps and frequent waking at night. We also implemented some routines, in hope that the babies learned the difference between day and night, therefore allowing us to sleep a little more every night. It was really tough in the beginning. The initial months were never easy, and it was hard to enjoy the babies when the daily aspects of taking care of them were tiring everyone out.
I was adamant about having my own personal space, and expressing breast milk became one of the best times for me to take a break from carrying/feeding/washing/changing the babies. I could read books, magazines, watch tv while I express. This was only possible only because I had help. And really, having those extra pairs of hands helped a lot. The milk supply was established, I was not so stressed out, I gave up insisting that things are done my way, or having the idea that it’s either my way or the high-way.
You may wonder where this entry is going. I just want to encourage all the first time mummies out there to hang in there during the initial periods, to know that there are help around, and sometimes when some arrangements are not working out, it may be better to solve the root problem and find solutions that do work for the benefit of making you, the mummy, happy and giving you the rest you need so that you can do all the mummy stuff.
Motherhood/parenting is an on-going learning process, our limits get stretched, our bodies changed, mentality changes. All for the little life(s) we brought into this world. We continue to grow as a person, a mummy, a wife, a co-worker, an employee. It’s never healthy to just define who we are by what we do as a mummy and forgetting our personal self.
To be a better mum, we need to be happy. We need breaks sometimes. All these can only be made possible when we have a good team. So treat the “team” well, treat yourselves well. Then one would find that the little ones become much better too.
Love and falling in love
The recent Valentine’s Day season and a few heart broken friends led to a very deep, lengthy and “tedious” discussion with a friend about Love and the feeling of “falling in love”.
The discussion spanned 4 days, but we can’t come to a conclusion about should one act on the feeling of “falling in love”. So I decided to write this article, based on some of my understanding of what Love and “falling in love” is about.
If you are reading this, please feel free to leave your views.
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The believing of the feeling of “falling in love” can have drastic effects on a marriage, for 2 reasons.
When singles believe too much in this feeling and acted on them, to realise later in the marriage that this feeling has subsided. When this feeling has subsided the image they have about the partner might change accordingly, for the best or worst (therefore a >50% divorce rate). If they do not have the consciousness that this change is part of the process and work on holding the union, the marriage will break.
Secondly, this feeling might arise after the marriage, unfortunately with another target, if the individual trusted and acted on the feeling, inevitably there is negative energy contributed to the marriage, even if s/he simply trusted and not acted on the feeling. Physically, if the original partner found out about the affair, trust is shattered, the union will never be the same again, even if it doesn’t lead to a divorce. If it’s never found out, the energy of the union could have been shifted.
For the other 50% or less that managed to hold the union, we need to ask how many of them are engaging their evolution, how many are really helping the partners in their growth. Are they holding the union for reasons other than love? Eg. children, “face”, etc.
Love is a conscious effort, it’s not something based on the feeling of “falling in love” (although the feeling might still be present in some union, but that is secondary). We Love because we choose to Love. Why love when there’s no falling in love feeling? Because it’s a contract between the souls involved in the union, not just the partners, if the union eventually resulted in the forming of a family unit, the children’s soul are involved too. Karmic connection could also be involved, but I think that could be part of the soul level agreement, or it may not be the ingredient of a spiritual partnership at all.
When we chose to Love another person, especially in the form of a spiritual partnership, we do not attach physically to that person, the union comes about mainly to assist the growth of all the souls involved. There is no fear of losing the loving feeling, or losing the person, no jealousy, no possessiveness, not attachment at all, and therfore no fear, only freedom of expression and Loving energy.
When Love is a conscious effort, it comes from within, we give Love, but we do not seek Love externally. This can only happen when one cultivates self love, the same concept as cultivating the spiritual energy, tapping into the universal source of energy. In this case, it’s tapping into the universal source of Love. When the self love has reached it’s maximum level, the person has successfully integrate the male/female energy in the psyche. This Love energy will start to overflow, this is when he/she is ready to seek out the spritual partner, where through the union, they are able to further elevate each other spiritually.
Why then romantic love happens? The feeling of “falling in love” is the results of the chemical effects of the neurotransmitters in the brain. But why do those chemicals react with each other in the first place? We can explain this from the psychology and spiritual points of view.
We are “hard wired” for the survival of the species, so the “falling in love” feeling is required to provide the platform for a union that resulted in the forming of a family unit, which includes children. Such union may fall apart after the children are brought up to a certain age, and when the duty of the parents are fulfilled.
Another possible reason, is that we were not able to integrate our male/female energy in our childhood formative years, resulting in a piece of us “missing”. But this is not the truth, we may not be complete on the physical level (male OR female, but never both), but we are complete spiritually. So if one is not able to integrate the male/female energies on the spritual level, the physical incompleteness can take over. S/he will then seek the external source of opposite sex energy for completeness. Of course, nobody is able to provide that completeness, except someone who has achieved full self love and fully integrated both energy in him/her self. Unfortunately, someone who feels s/he is incomplete will never be able to attract a “full” person. Therefore it’s always the union of 2 “incomplete” entities, to form a “complete” entity, this eventually resulted in the power struggle when the 2 parties realised that his/her energy is being given out, and stopped giving (this is usually no a conscious process), when this happens, the other partner will resort to childhood dramas to gain the energy, which in turn, resulted in more resistance, thus the power struggle. There’s hope though, if both (or maybe one of the) partners are conscious enough to not engage in the power struggle, they may be able to elevate the union into a lasting love, or better still a spiritual partnership. But unfortunately, this is the path with the highest resistance and requires hard work to achieve, so most of the people chose to give up at the power struggle stage.
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Update:
We took a day off the topic, (and each other ), and met each other by chance on a weekend and started talking about it again, finally, I think we have come to a conclusion on the topic:
1) One can act on the “falling in love” feeling, this may not necessarily involve the “target” s/he falls in love with.
2) Acting on the feeling may not meant letting the “target” know and starting to go into a relationship with him/her.
3) Acting on the feeeling may generally refer to letting the experience through. Feeling the feeling, which at times can be painful. This may also mean, to take the next steps, for example trying to find out more about the target, to establish whether s/he is really a “suitable” future partner.
4) Acting on the feeling may also mean to recognise why one has this feeling and to address the root cause, eg. one may feel the need to look for external sources to complete oneself, addressing the core issue may be to enhance one’s self-esteem, or to cultivate self love.
5) The above ways of acting on the feeling may be a manifestation of the concept of living in the present, ie. acting on the feeling now, when it happens, but I haven’t fully grasped the concept of living in the present, so I’m not sure.
Things that they never tell you about being first time parents/mums
Recently I have been hearing friends who are first time mums trying to cope with the following: breastfeeding (engorgement, establishing supply, latching), baby crying, lack of sleep, introducing solids, feeding schedules, post-natal recovery, angst of traditions in the confinement period.
There are a lot of information out there on pregnancy and what to expect. But there seems to be a gap in the advise or tips on what to expect after delivery.
My feel is that, what happens right after delivery is usually not as “pretty”. There is a lot of hardwork, lack of sleep, logistics, learning involved, plus coping with emotions and hormonal changes during this period.
I’ll attempt to describe my own experience, in hope that this information can help someone out there.
Breastfeeding
This is a topic that I feel very strongly about, only because I feel that there are a lot of myths and misconceptions around this.
Breastfeeding is not something that one will just pick up at a whim.
It needs to be practiced, support from family and loved ones is very important during the initial stages, persistence and determination of the mummy is critical for success.
Breast milk supply needs time to build up and established to meet the demands of a baby. Some of us are blessed with plenty of milk, others take time to meet the demands of the baby, some just have to supplement with formula milk.
Whichever the case, it is important to focus on the following in order for breastfeeding to succeed:
- Correct latching technique for mummies who choose to feed directly
- Having sufficient rest so that the milk production can take place
- Drinking enough fluids to replenish the body and aid milk production
- Dietary intake: Calcium is highly important.
- Have a positive mindset (something which is hard to do when one is tired, and not having enough sleep)
- Support from family and friends in terms of taking turns to cook/change diapers/clean the house/babysit
- Having a good breast pump should you choose to express. For efficiency and effectiveness, I highly recommend a dual electric breast pump.
- Access to breastfeeding support helplines/groups, lactation consultants in times of need.
Breast milk is great. But not everyone has the stamina to do breastfeeding for extended periods of time, and certainly not everyone can latch on the baby successfuly.
For various reasons, I was a 100% breast pump mummy, for 8 months. Having multiples meant that 1. latching is going to be tough to master (not that it’s impossible), 2. no one else can help to feed if I had to latch so bottle feeding works for me.
What matters is the output, not the process of getting the milk to the baby.
Myth: Formula milk lasts longer than breastmilk, so baby can sleep through the night
I personally tested this with my kids. When they need to drink, they drink. Formula milk (FM) lasts as long as breastmilk (BM), the twins did not sleep through the night just because I gave them FM.
Myth: Breast milk is watery, thus Formula milk is more filling.
Again, this is not true. Breast milk has higher fat content, and because the nutrition level is naturally adjusted according to the baby’s needs, BM gives what the baby requires at each stage, and is more easily absorbed by the body.
Debatable: You need to latch on the baby directly in order to establish good milk supply.
In most cases, I would agree if the baby is a good sucker. Some babies just fall asleep if the milk flow is slow, or they are just slow suckers, and sleepy babies. In such a case, then breastfeeding would potentially cause more anxiety –> thus affecting milk supply –> thus leading to higher chances of the mummy giving up.
A good breast pump may be able to stimulate the supply. Try the industrial breast pumps that can be loaned either during the hospital stay or from the manufacturers. They work wonders.
Maternal Instinct
Not all mummies would instantaneously feel the love for the baby after delivery. It may take time to build that love, especially when one could have a “traumatic” long drawn labour process, and also to cope with the crying and learning how to care for the baby.
Be gentle on yourself. Rest when possible, and in time, the love for the baby will grow.
No one knows instantly what the baby is crying for, it’s a matter of trial and error, through observations and eliminations of causes of cries. There are a wealth of information out there about how certain sounds of the cry could mean a certain thing, but again, it may not apply to every baby.
Some common causes for cries (at least during the first month)
- Hunger (watch for rooting behaviour, moving of the mouths sideways, trying to find the breast/bottle)
- Discomfort (wind in tummy, needing to be cuddled)
- Dirty diaper (wet or soiled)
Confinement Practices
I didn’t practice every single rule in the “confinement traditions” . There are some that I believe has some grounds.
Taking a bath and washing the hair is ok during confinement, it is important that we keep ourselves clean and if there are wounds, it’s even more important to keep up with the hygiene. However, because our pores are open during this period, it is important to dry ourselves completely, immediately after the shower to prevent “wind” from getting into the body, and causing headaches or aches. The hair dryer was a good friend during the confinement month.
I also drank water, besides the red date tea prescribed. Having to express so often, it was very very important that I replenish the fluids, but I had warm water instead of cold or cool.
Food wise, there was not much choices for me, I just had to bear with what was available and eat them. Soups were great though, it replenishes the fluids, and with the fish and papaya soup, it seems to help with increasing the breastmilk supply.
Having a positive mindset, reading up more to learn about the entire parenting experience, and having faith that the tough times will pass are key factors to help one pass through the initial phase.
No one said it was easy, but it can only make you stronger. Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people just makes the ride much smoother.
LOA? Consideration for others
Recently I had several experiences with inconsiderate people.
1. At a baby changing room
The design of this room is longish and between the entrance to the nursing/changing area is the width of a path that could probably just fit maximum 3 prams.
We parked our prams front and back of each other, so that there was space for other people to move into the changing/nursing area. There was this lady, who had a double pram, trying to move out of the changing room, so I carried one of my kid, in order to make way for the lady.
She decided to stop in the middle of path, and continued chatting with another friend who also had a kid, and they were chatting about how this lady got the double pram, and how the pram doesn’t go on the escalator in the mall because it’s too wide.
All these chatting continued for awhile, and I was still carrying my kid + being heavily pregnant. The entire walkway was blocked, and had anyone else tried to enter or exit the changing room, it was totally impossible.
I could only roll my eyes. Should have reminded that woman to stop chatting and move out so that others can move within the room.
2. Inconsiderate taxi driver
A lady with a toddler, a pram and a young kid went to board the cab before me. It was drizzling, and this lady first put her toddler and bags into the cab, then carried her baby, and then she had no hands to keep the pram and put that pram into the boot of the taxi.
Usually I would expect the taxi driver to come down from the taxi, and help the passengers especially in such a situation.
Not at all. Instead the driver just sat in his cab and waited.
Seeing how this lady was struggling, i put down my big bag of stuff, trying to find a dry spot on the floor. Proceeded to help this lady fold her pram and put the pram into the boot of the cab.
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The 2nd incident happened just after I spoke to a friend who had an accident. A taxi cut into his lane, hitting him at the handlebar, causing him to lose control of his bike, and he ended up staying in the hospital for a few days. Another friend concluded that most cab drivers are bad drivers and I was just commenting to a friend that I was lucky to have met mostly good drivers. I did think about some examples of bad taxi drivers, and perhaps I could have focused too much on the examples.
Just the day after, I see this incident where the cab driver is inconsiderate.
LOA at work?
Just felt that there are things that can make this place a better one for everyone.
If we all can put a little thought and consideration for others, there’s really no need for courtesy campaigns. I pray for the day that we will all respect the public space, be a little more considerate and share the common spaces with others.
The world will be a better place.
Customer service
Bought a pair of comfy walking shoes recently and of all days, the elastic band came off just before the Chinese New Year holidays.
It was my first pair of shoes from this brand. They have been advertising on their comfort level and “airy-ness” of the shoe to avoid foul smells. None of the designs (nor prices) attracted me enough, but that day, with the mood to buy, I saw one pair that was going at a price with discounts that I was happy to pay and the comfort was there.
Therefore, my disappointment when the elastic band came off when I was doing shopping. Next day, I brought the pair of shoes to the retail shop, and decided to ask for it to be repaired.
The sales people aren’t used to such requests, I felt. First question I was asked: Did the band fell off by itself? (Obviously, would I be so silly to pull it out myself?!)
I didn’t have my receipt anymore since it was already 2-3 weeks from the purchase date. They took my name and contact number, gave me a note to say that they have collected XX model, size Y on X date and put a company stamp on it.
I haven’t heard from the store yet, yesterday I spoke to the salesperson and was told that due to the CNY holidays, the HQ has not seen my shoes yet (???@!!!). I gave them the benefit of doubt, and requested that someone contact me early next week to let me know if they can repair it or whether there would be a replacement.
Out of curiousity, I went online to search for their company website, there wasn’t a country site for us, and I saw this note when I clicked on the “Customer Service” section.
“Coming soon”.
Enough said
Update:
A sales person called today to inform that they will replace the shoes with a new pair, or I could choose another design. I’m choosing to get the same design, but perhaps a smaller size. Also requested to have the half insoles and the leather heel liners back from the faulty pair of shoes 
The salesperson said he would call me again once my original pair of shoes are sent back to the retail shop. Another few more days of waiting!
