Parenting and sanity
The recent chain of events with the kids falling sick, last minute rush to shop for Lunar New Year just made it harder to remain calm and collected.
Stressful situations make one either crack up in pressure, and helps you grow if you allow it. Sometimes there’s just no other way around it, but to go through the process head on.
After the whole event, take a break. Spend time alone, with friends, with the spouse.
Window shop, a good massage, catching up with friends.
To be a good parent, I strongly recommend spending some time alone, without the kids. Facing the kids 24/7 may not be healthy, and taking timeout to pamper oneself just to have a breather recharges you and keeps the sanity in tact.
It’s also important that there are alternative childcare arrangements and a good support network to help so that there’s timeoff. All care-givers would need this break to recharge, some need them more than others.
I find having a regular job makes me become a better parent in that I have more energy with the kids when I get home, being financially independent also means I help with the family expenses, I can pamper myself and spend some on the kids. It’s not the only possible arrangement, some women are just able to be full-time stay home mums.
When mummy and daddy are happy, the kids will be happy too and vice versa.
Keeping up with appearances
I read the entry today from TheSimpleDollar.com: Defeating Superman Syndrome: How to Progress Beyond the “Need” to be the financial hero.
It caught my attention because recently, I’ve heard of people around me complaining about someone that was trying to do this, or could be doing this.
I wonder if it’s a cultural thing and upbringing. Some men would pay through their noses, borrow from others in order to keep up with the appearances. The family usually doesn’t know of this behaviour until the debts pile up and people start chasing for the repayment. By that time, it’s usually a huge amount and the family may help to pay off the loan, but it may not stop the behaviour.
Some try to understand why that individual has gone down the route of borrowing. Others help, when they think it’s not a big amount. I did both, and my conclusion is that I won’t lend. Unless it’s a real need and it’s spare money that I don’t need, lending just don’t make sense because chances are, you won’t see the money coming back or one has to spend a lot of time chasing for it.
I borrowed before, from relatives and family to pay for the initial upfront fees from my university course. After that I made sure that subsequent fees instalment were paid by myself, and after the course ended, I made regular payments to reduce my debt.
During that stage, I couldn’t spend on fancy bags, clothes, shoes and such. Friends were buying brands, having a good time (before they see their bills). Up till now, I only spend what I can afford. Lucky for me, most of my friends are like me. We don’t have firvolous spending habits but we do have stuff that we desire and work towards getting it.
There are ways to getting what we desire. Instant gratification through borrowing or pay through your nose to get it, just makes you feel more burdened and you end up not enjoying the very thing you paid for. Habitual borrowers prey on others who feed their insatiable desires of sustaining a lifestyle beyond what they can afford.
We really don’t need the latest IT equipment, the fancy branded clothes and money to buy friends or approval. True friends accept us as we are, and there are always ways to give, not just money.
To give with your best intentions and heart, you receive much more love and blessings.
The Tenth Insight by James Redfield
This is the sequel to the first book, “The Celestine Prophecy”. Following the adventure of the first book, the characters seek to find and understand the Tenth Insight. This holds the key to understanding the growth for humanity, moving to the next dimension/a new era and world that we know.
I haven’t finished the book at the moment.
It has touched me in many ways because the story gives me an indication of the various things happening around me. The world today, who we are, what we are meant to do.
In the book, we go on a journey in this physical dimension, coming with our birth vision. This birth vision gives one an indication of the experiences that one will go through in this physical world, and in learning the lessons, one will achieve what he is meant to do. All these are the best scenarios, of course, upon birth, we forget all these past memories, and go through life. What we have are our feelings, emotions as guidance, and our ability to feel and learn.
Through remembering our birth visions, and going through a Life Review, hopefully when we are still in this physical world, as we intend and manifest our best intentions, and the divine source, connected through love, collectively, we co-create with others what we want on this Earth. This is the World Vision, and for the different soul groups to be connected and merged, we have to be connected at the physical dimension, connected with other individuals to remember, resolve past emotions and conflict, and work together to create the reality for us.
It can sound religious, but this book is not geared towards specific religious groups.
Big picture, spiritual connection.
As above, so below. When we know who we really are, what we are meant to do, we go on a journey to create the very reality that we seek.
If you ask me a few years back, this book won’t be in my reading list. I think the right books with the right words happen in one’s life only if you are ready to notice and be open to receiving those messages.
At this point in time, I’m keen to find out more about such topics. That’s why my list of books for now are mostly in this direction. I don’t always have the right words to review all the books, I just feel them, either in sync with what is said and written or otherwise.
If you enjoyed “The Celestine Prophecy”, have a read of this book. It continues the journey and like watching Star Wars, you want to find out what happens to the characters in the story.
Chinese New Year is near..
How do we tell that the Chinese New Year is coming?
- You see more reds, orange, bright colours and chino designs and clothes in the departmental stores and boutiques
- The queues at Lim Chee Guan (bak kwa) get longer each day nearing to CNY.
- More television programmes on CNY traditions, goodies (where to buy) and such.
- Recycled CNY TV commercials for bak kwa, hua diao jiu, abalone
- Longer queues at the bank to change for new notes
- Chinatown gets decorated extensively
- News of Chinese restaurants and hotels being fully booked for reunion dinners.
- Prices of green vegetables, bak kwas and all CNY related goodies increased
- Hair salon prices increases during the festive seasons
- Renovators and contractors rushing to finish work
- Bus tickets to Malaysia fully booked.
- Supermarkets having boxes of mandarin oranges, drinks and condiments outside the store
- Mediacorp plays 2008 Music videos of the actors and actresses, news readers singing to re-arranged CNY tunes
- News of Jack Neo’s latest CNY blockbuster appears on TV and newspapers.
