What a great animation to bring through the ideas!

Education system — the system as we know it probably killed creativity and may not have encouraged us to be the best that we can be?

Rubber Band by Michael Meilen

Parenting/motherhood is a lifelong journey, and nothing really, in my opinion, stretches us quite as much as this experience.

A friend who is a new mom said, “Now I know why they say motherhood is tough! It’s tiring!”

The lack of sleep in the beginning years, when the child is sick. Coping with body changes, new tasks (changing, washing, breastfeeding…etc), learning new things, guiding a child, managing between work and family responsibilities.

How do people cope? Extra pairs of hands would help, having the “right” pair of hands go way further. And sometimes we just deal with the circumstances, and make things work. Be resourceful, find creative ways, learn from others.

Sometimes, we draw from this undiscovered source of energy, just by making sure we get through each day, each challenge (Try feeding in the middle of the night, every other hour and burping, and changing). Other days, coffee is the trick. Or speak to other folks that could share experiences.

Being a parent also made me reflect my values and at times challenge my own beliefs. Kids question everything, and they are often very intuitive and ask the very question that sets us back to think: is this really who I am, what I’m guiding them?

With parenting, I find myself having to learn effective time management. There are many things that need to be done in this 24 hour day, some are more important and essential than others.

The balance between all the stuff that needs to be completed is really up to individuals and it could be through trial and error that we find the right time to complete things that we aim to complete in a day. I’ve given up on straight 8 hours sleep routine, and deep sleep seems to escape from me especially when the kids are not well.

Balancing work commitments and family is sometimes a challenge, and I feel that building that trust and good work reputation helps when situations occur at home. That trust bank at work can help in many many ways, be it getting flexi-work arrangements or drawing on others to help during certain periods.

The things that keep me going are: smiles, hugs, and kisses from the kids, a loving husband and friends around me. The passion to be the best I can, so that I can be the best to my loved ones.

It’s not the easiest journey, but it has been, to date, the one that has allowed me to grow beyond my imagination (and yes, it means physically as well).

And the adventure continues…

• A little light on the Spiritual Laws by Diana
  Cooper
• New light on Ascension by Diana
  Cooper
• Discover Atlantis by Diana
  Cooper
• Ten Powerful Phrases for Positive
  People by Rich DeVos

Some titles that I’m
reading now:

• Writing Tools – 50 Essential
  Strategies for Every Writer by Roy Peter Clark
• The Pleiadian Workbook – Awakening your Divine Ka by
  Amorah Quan Yin

In a bid to refresh my
memory before I catch the movie, I read “Harry Potter and The
Deathly Hallows” again. This time round, I spent less time, and was
skimming most of the time. After I started reading
Writing Tools, I realised that JK Rowling’s
writing can be improved based on the tips mentioned in the book.
The author used her book as an example of overly using adverbs,
where the adverb does not do anything for the verb. Quote the
author: “If you want to make more money than the Queen of England,
maybe you should use more adverbs” Fruit for thought?
Discover Atlantis This book covers the
world of the Atlantean times, where “the spiritual level of the
planet was the highest it has ever been, and the people enjoyed
incredible psychic gifts as well as technology and spiritual powers
beyond our current comprehension.” The book covered the
lessons and gifts that the various living beings bring, from the
plants, animals to the ways of living during that period of time.
After reading this book, and the Spiritual Laws
and New light on Ascension, I have
some ideas on how I’m living now, and there has been some impact on
my diet as well. More on that next time. Other
readings I love magazines, specifically fashion and
female magazines. I love the layouts, photography, typography (aka
fonts), the design of the pages, editorial styles. I started
reading Teens and Teenage,
Cleo, both of which I do not read now since I have
passed that stage. Female, Her World don’t
really interest me too much due to the bulk of advertisements and
the content isn’t great as well. I
love 8 Days for the latest updates on what’s
new in town, some of the columns, the bits on entertainment.
Simply Her has been enjoyable though lately,
the articles aren’t great (there’s some recycling after some time).
I would buy Easy Living (UK edition)
occasionally, depending on the cover, and the articles in it.
Glamour (UK edition) and InStyle (US
edition) are fun reads, only for browsing in the
bookstore or during my visit to the hair salon or clinic. Fun reads
at different times, and the more in-depth reading when time
allows.

Is this that easy?

Unless it was meant to be a joke, I doubt the majority of people can do this pose and use the job portal at the same time

9. “Have a clear agenda.” –

Me: The one-button mind projector hasn’t been invented yet, there are times that we need to spend time digging out information in order to proceed. So being clear really helps!

Read the entire list

If mediocrity and “incompetence” is rewarded (either indirect or direct), what is the motivation to do well?

There’s a few factors of motivation.

Motivation can come from external sources or within oneself. Often I find that people who are motivated internally, have that “I do my best, and to the best I can” attitude. Such people do not settle for less.

There are also those who find that if doing the bare minimal can get by, why not? After all, it’s just work and the company only pay us so much. What better if they learn the language that the management likes to hear, all that is required is to talk the right language versus actually doing.

There are many different kind of roles in an organisation/world. Some requires good verbal communication skills, e.g. sales or training, others may require action – the actual doing. Some roles require leadership skills, people management skills compared to specialist skills. It’s really a matter of developing and demonstrating the qualities and skill set required for that role, and then performing at your best.

In a space where people are even more connected to others, no matter physical or geographical distance, it’s hard to get away with a poor reputation. People do observe and talk, and in many cases, we are mirrors of others, and vice versa. So why is that some people have been “getting away” with doing less than their best?

Now, by using the term “getting away”, it implies judgement. It implies a comparison of situations, often a personal value or bias used to determine “fairness”.

Life, I feel, is not unfair. We all co-exist in this environment, and all have a part to play. There will be things that we like, and some that don’t feel as right to us. The key is to surround ourselves with more of the likes.

I like the idea, as discussed in the book “The leader who had no title”, that the world is a better place if we can all just do our very best, and nothing less. If we all aim to be our very best as a human being, and be connected at the heart where the very intent and core value is pure, the world will be a better place.

I believe that we are moving towards that kind of world, just that there are many many old habits and “infrastructure” that has established over the years need to be broken down, and we are in the process of re-learning and rebuilding.

Like-minded people will gather together, doing what they do best, and collectively, achieve more than what an individual may be able to do.

I’m certainly looking forward to work with more like-minded people, and also refining and connecting back to my own true self, pursuing the passion and becoming the best that I am meant to be.

I am that I am. So are you.

View the video – Chip Conley – Measuring what makes life worthwhile
View transcript of the video

I wanna be work for that employer or be that employer in time to come
Measure GNH (Gross National Happiness) instead of GDP (Gross Domestic Product)

We shared our ideas, experiences. Situations that we were facing at the work place, how each of us can do better.

We motivate each other, to try another approach of doing things, having another perspective. Bouncing off ideas from each other, then thinking of collaboration, a peer motivation.

After those conversations, I feel alive. Always.

Sometimes it’s an energy booster, giving me the boost to do something positively. Other times, I’m the energy booster, in some ways, communicating the exact message that is required by that individual at that certain point in time.

What works in such conversations? How does a conversation become energising?

Being open to listen to another perspective, and having that mutual trust in each other. The trust that whatever this person is saying is in the highest good, not for their ego, or to be condescending.

It’s also about appreciation. The appreciation of the openness, to listen and to give.

Chemistry. Sometimes people just click. We have the same frequency, values and mindset. In our own ways, to make things better.

A motivation and positivity that we want to offer to the other person. Many times, I’m my worst enemy, but it’s through these type of conversations, I reflect and accept that I don’t have to be so hard on myself. My thoughts, point of view, my value as an individual is as worthy as the next person. I offer that booster to friends who I believe are capable of doing more, and in other situations, I get the booster from other friends who believe the same of me.

I try to surround myself with people who are true and honest. Those who don’t take everything for granted, those who are appreciative and those who respect others. In seeking  those, I aim to have those qualities. To do better in listening.

I pray that most conversations I have, can be energising — either to myself, mutually or for the other person.

What’s the last conversation you had that energises you?

As with his other books, the author uses a story and delivers his leadership messages, lessons through the characters in the story.

In this book, we meet Blake Davis, his mento Tommy Flinn and 4 leaders who imparts the leadership lessons on how we can lead without a title.

In summary, the 4 lessons are:

1. You Need No Title to Be a Leader

2. Turbulent Times Build Great Leaders

3. The Deeper Your Relationships, the Stronger Your Leadership

4. To be a Great Leader, First become a Great Person

Every chapter in this book, has lots of quotes and lines which are thought provoking to me.

One example was, the mentor, Tommy Flinn’s name card:

TOMMY FLINN

Human Being

Imagine if all of us had this job title, remembering that we were “born awesome”, that we are first humans, not “CEOs, directors, managers” — What a way to introduce ourselves!

The author does share that titles are relevant in an organisation, to give it structure. The key is not to get too attached to the title, and forget that if we strip off the title, who are we then? Have we worked within ourselves to stand for what we believe, to do what we want to do, to be our best?

Another quote “It’s impossible to build a tribute to success on a foundation of excuses”

This paragraph strike me:

“Work offers you a daily platform to discover the leader within. It’s a chance, every day, to reclaim more of the potential you’ve buried and to awaken the dormant relationship between the current you and your absolute best. It’s an opportunity to express more of your latent creativity and a whole lot more of your precious humanity.”

With each leadership lesson, were acronyms of rules that accompany each lesson:

IMAGE (Innovation, Mastery, Authenticity, Guts, Ethics),

SPARK (Speak with Candor, Prioritize, Adversity Breeds Opportunity, Respond versus React, Kudos for Everyone),

HUMAN (Helpfulness, Understanding, Mingle, Amuse, Nurture),

SHINE (See Clearly, Health is Wealth, Inspiration Matters, Neglect Not Your Family, Elevate Your Lifestyle)

Why this is a good read:

Most of the knowledge in there is nothing new. Yet the way all these are weaved into the story so that one can feel for the characters is a clever way of engaging the reader.

The message of this book also came at the right time for me, where I’m feeling overwhelmed by negativity, so much so, I’m becoming negative myself. It set me thinking, how each and every one of us is born to shine, but through conditioning and society, we conform, become mediocre – do things to get by.

Having the courage to stand for what we believe, to do our best everyday is not always easy, but if we don’t do this for ourselves, then who would?

This book is relevant now, as we are all pushed to be our true self, to shine and spark as a real human being. Nothing less than our best.

This message is just so timely for me, as I’m in the pensive, reflective mood.

Apparently, this speech has been making its rounds in other blogs, but I’ll just reproduce the transcript of the speech here:

Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), who was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the true worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

‘he had been groping and grabbing after certainty, as if it were something he could possess.  he had been demanding a security, a guarantee, which is not granted: and which, if granted, would become a prison.’
—-ursula le guin, ‘the dispossessed’