Keeping up with appearances

15 02 2008

I read the entry today from Defeating Superman Syndrome: How to Progress Beyond the “Need” to be the financial hero.

It caught my attention because recently, I’ve heard of people around me complaining about someone that was trying to do this, or could be doing this.

I wonder if it’s a cultural thing and upbringing. Some men would pay through their noses, borrow from others in order to keep up with the appearances. The family usually doesn’t know of this behaviour until the debts pile up and people start chasing for the repayment. By that time, it’s usually a huge amount and the family may help to pay off the loan, but it may not stop the behaviour.

Some try to understand why that individual has gone down the route of borrowing. Others help, when they think it’s not a big amount. I did both, and my conclusion is that I won’t lend. Unless it’s a real need and it’s spare money that I don’t need, lending just don’t make sense because chances are, you won’t see the money coming back or one has to spend a lot of time chasing for it.

I borrowed before, from relatives and family to pay for the initial upfront fees from my university course. After that I made sure that subsequent fees instalment were paid by myself, and after the course ended, I made regular payments to reduce my debt.

During that stage, I couldn’t spend on fancy bags, clothes, shoes and such. Friends were buying brands, having a good time (before they see their bills). Up till now, I only spend what I can afford. Lucky for me, most of my friends are like me. We don’t have firvolous spending habits but we do have stuff that we desire and work towards getting it.

There are ways to getting what we desire. Instant gratification through borrowing or pay through your nose to get it, just makes you feel more burdened and you end up not enjoying the very thing you paid for. Habitual borrowers prey on others who feed their insatiable desires of sustaining a lifestyle beyond what they can afford.

We really don’t need the latest IT equipment, the fancy branded clothes and money to buy friends or approval. True friends accept us as we are, and there are always ways to give, not just money.

 To give with your best intentions and heart, you receive much more love and blessings.



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