Becoming the toddler who roams freely without fear again

4 03 2009

The past weeks have been eventful. Resuming my spiritual journey has brought about numerous events that trigger the various reactions in me, and brought me forward in my personal growth.

A friend(in fact 2) commented that I am somebody who uses my logic and brain too much, and I don’t feel enough. One of them recommended me the book, Living in The Heart, by Drunvalo Melchizedek. I read it, and found that it makes a lot of sense, the heart is where our “home” is.

For a long time, I have been trying to connect with my high self and guides, without any “direct” results. Although I do sense their presence, and the communications in terms of synchronicities and messages from all around, I’m not really able to have any “direct” communications with them. After reading the book and being bombarded by the “feel” more comments continuously, I think I became a little to eager to change things, and the lack of results resulted in some frustration in me.

My understanding of what Drunvalo has said, if we want to connect with our higher self, we need to first get in touch and connect with our “lower self”, which is the subconscious mind, and this lower self happens to be of the age of around 4 years old. So, we need to become child like in order to connect with our lower self. Once the lower self agrees, we’ll be able to connect with the higher self.

In my eagerness to switch to a more feelings based person, I found a struggle in me, because I’m someone who for some reason likes to do a lot of researches and read on “theories”, which I can feel irks some of my friends, who are more “feelings” based and can’t appreciate the theories. Haha… so one of them commented that I’m an introverted thinker, which prompted me to research more on my personality…well what else but research, it’s me. I found that I’m a INTJ. I do have my intuitions, and I’m indeed an introvert who thinks a lot, and based my judgements on facts backed by theories, and I enjoy doing researches and theories heaps. So, there’s no point trying to change things too much, especially it’s something I enjoy doing a lot. I just need to learn to balance things out.

This morning, finally I hear the voice which tells me, “My child, it’s perfectly alright to be a thinker, an introvert, or whatever you are now, this is what you have chosen to do in this life, you are as good as you can be at this moment. Just remember that you can always “come home”, to the heart, and you can do that at your will, whenever you want to. This is a place where you come in to rest, contemplate, chill out and just do what you like to do, to feel the unconditional love I have for you and to recharge”.

I finally feel I’m the toddler who is able to roam freely and know that there’s always a “home” and a loving Mother that I can go back to when I’m tired or afraid. Thank you! And thanks to the friends, who have nudged me in this direction.

Love and falling in love

23 02 2009

The recent Valentine’s Day season and a few heart broken friends led to a very deep, lengthy and “tedious” discussion with a friend about Love and the feeling of “falling in love”.

The discussion spanned 4 days, but we can’t come to a conclusion about should one act on the feeling of “falling in love”. So I decided to write this article, based on some of my understanding of what Love and “falling in love” is about.

If you are reading this, please feel free to leave your views.


The believing of the feeling of “falling in love” can have drastic effects on a marriage, for 2 reasons. 

When singles believe too much in this feeling and acted on them, to realise later in the marriage that this feeling has subsided. When this feeling has subsided the image they have about the partner might change accordingly, for the best or worst (therefore a >50% divorce rate). If they do not have the consciousness that this change is part of the process and work on holding the union, the marriage will break.

Secondly, this feeling might arise after the marriage, unfortunately with another target, if the individual trusted and acted on the feeling, inevitably there is negative energy contributed to the marriage, even if s/he simply trusted and not acted on the feeling. Physically, if the original partner found out about the affair, trust is shattered, the union will never be the same again, even if it doesn’t lead to a divorce. If it’s never found out, the energy of the union could have been shifted.

For the other 50% or less that managed to hold the union, we need to ask how many of them are engaging their evolution, how many are really helping the partners in their growth. Are they holding the union for reasons other than love? Eg. children, “face”, etc.

Love is a conscious effort, it’s not something based on the feeling of “falling in love” (although the feeling might still be present in some union, but that is secondary). We Love because we choose to Love. Why love when there’s no falling in love feeling? Because it’s a contract between the souls involved in the union, not just the partners, if the union eventually resulted in the forming of a family unit, the children’s soul are involved too. Karmic connection could also be involved, but I think that could be part of the soul level agreement, or it may not be the ingredient of a spiritual partnership at all.

When we chose to Love another person, especially in the form of a spiritual partnership, we do not attach physically to that person, the union comes about mainly to assist the growth of all the souls involved. There is no fear of losing the loving feeling, or losing the person, no jealousy, no possessiveness, not attachment at all, and therfore no fear, only freedom of expression and Loving energy.

When Love is a conscious effort, it comes from within, we give Love, but we do not seek Love externally. This can only happen when one cultivates self love, the same concept as cultivating the spiritual energy, tapping into the universal source of energy. In this case, it’s tapping into the universal source of Love. When the self love has reached it’s maximum level, the person has successfully integrate the male/female energy in the psyche. This Love energy will start to overflow, this is when he/she is ready to seek out the spritual partner, where through the union, they are able to further elevate each other spiritually.

Why then romantic love happens? The feeling of “falling in love” is the results of the chemical effects of the neurotransmitters in the brain. But why do those chemicals react with each other in the first place? We can explain this from the psychology and spiritual points of view.

We are “hard wired” for the survival of the species, so the “falling in love” feeling is required to provide the platform for a union that resulted in the forming of a family unit, which includes children. Such union may fall apart after the children are brought up to a certain age, and when the duty of the parents are fulfilled.

Another possible reason, is that we were not able to integrate our male/female energy in our childhood formative years, resulting in a piece of us “missing”. But this is not the truth, we may not be complete on the physical level (male OR female, but never both), but we are complete spiritually. So if one is not able to integrate the male/female energies on the spritual level, the physical incompleteness can take over. S/he will then seek the external source of opposite sex energy for completeness. Of course, nobody is able to provide that completeness, except someone who has achieved full self love and fully integrated both energy in him/her self. Unfortunately, someone who feels s/he is incomplete will never be able to attract a “full” person. Therefore it’s always the union of 2 “incomplete” entities, to form a “complete” entity, this eventually resulted in the power struggle when the 2 parties realised that his/her energy is being given out, and stopped giving (this is usually no a conscious process), when this happens, the other partner will resort to childhood dramas to gain the energy, which in turn, resulted in more resistance, thus the power struggle. There’s hope though, if both (or maybe one of the) partners are conscious enough to not engage in the power struggle, they may be able to elevate the union into a lasting love, or better still a spiritual partnership. But unfortunately, this is the path with the highest resistance and requires hard work to achieve, so most of the people chose to give up at the power struggle stage.



We took a day off the topic, (and each other :P), and met each other by chance on a weekend and started talking about it again, finally, I think we have come to a conclusion on the topic:

1) One can act on the “falling in love” feeling, this may not necessarily involve the “target” s/he falls in love with.

2) Acting on the feeling may not meant letting the “target” know and starting to go into a relationship with him/her.

3) Acting on the feeeling may generally refer to letting the experience through. Feeling the feeling, which at times can be painful. This may also mean, to take the next steps, for example trying to find out more about the target, to establish whether s/he is really a “suitable” future partner.

4) Acting on the feeling may also mean to recognise why one has this feeling and to address the root cause, eg. one may feel the need to look for external sources to complete oneself, addressing the core issue may be to enhance one’s self-esteem, or to cultivate self love.

5) The above ways of acting on the feeling may be a manifestation of the concept of living in the present, ie. acting on the feeling now, when it happens, but I haven’t fully grasped the concept of living in the present, so I’m not sure.

The Tenth Insight by James Redfield

15 02 2008

This is the sequel to the first book, “The Celestine Prophecy”. Following the adventure of the first book, the characters seek to find and understand the Tenth Insight. This holds the key to understanding the growth for humanity, moving to the next dimension/a new era and world that we know.

I haven’t finished the book at the moment.

It has touched me in many ways because the story gives me an indication of the various things happening around me. The world today, who we are, what we are meant to do.

In the book, we go on a journey in this physical dimension, coming with our birth vision. This birth vision gives one an indication of the experiences that one will go through in this physical world, and in learning the lessons, one will achieve what he is meant to do. All these are the best scenarios, of course, upon birth, we forget all these past memories, and go through life. What we have are our feelings, emotions as guidance, and our ability to feel and learn.

Through remembering our birth visions, and going through a Life Review, hopefully when we are still in this physical world, as we intend and manifest our best intentions, and the divine source, connected through love, collectively, we co-create with others what we want on this Earth. This is the World Vision, and for the different soul groups to be connected and merged, we have to be connected at the physical dimension, connected with other individuals to remember, resolve past emotions and conflict, and work together to create the reality for us.

It can sound religious, but this book is not geared towards specific religious groups.

Big picture, spiritual connection.

As above, so below. When we know who we really are, what we are meant to do, we go on a journey to create the very reality that we seek.

If you ask me a few years back, this book won’t be in my reading list. I think the right books with the right words happen in one’s life only if you are ready to notice and be open to receiving those messages.

At this point in time, I’m keen to find out more about such topics. That’s why my list of books for now are mostly in this direction. I don’t always have the right words to review all the books, I just feel them, either in sync with what is said and written or otherwise.

If you enjoyed “The Celestine Prophecy”, have a read of this book. It continues the journey and like watching Star Wars, you want to find out what happens to the characters in the story.

The Celestine Prophecy – An Adventure by James Redfield

8 01 2008

I first read this book earlier in the year, recommended by cityhermit. I took a long time to review this because I didn’t felt that I can do this well.

The premises for the book is on the main character, who after hearing from a long time friend, decided to go to Peru to learn more about The Manuscript. The Manuscript dates back to about 600 BC and predicts a transformation of the human society. There are different segments, also known as insights, describing a particular insight to our life. As we go through these insights sequentially, we as humans would evolved spiritually and move into a very different environment from where we are now.

As the character decides to go on an adventure to learn more about the Manuscript, he gets to meet different people, sharing with him each of the insights. He also experiences those insights and understand the deeper meaning behind each segment.

In this book, there were 9 insights that were shared. The first 2 insights talks about an awareness of the mysterious occurrences that changes one’s life, the feeling that some other processes are operating. The 2nd insight puts our awareness into a longer historical perspective, awakening the consciousness and putting things into perspective.

As the story goes on, we are brought into an adventure as the character goes in search of each of the insights, relating concepts such as control dramas, chakras, energy fields into the story.

Why this is a good read:

The story, being an adventure first, brings me into the world of the main character. Literally I’m joining the hunt for the insights of the Manuscript. First time when I read this book, I was just enjoying the “ride”, finding out what’s to come next in the story.

Reading it the 2nd time, I tried to understand each insight better and how it all comes together with the other things I’ve learnt spiritually. Religion, chakras, energy, evolution of human society, psychology, science….all coming together through the story. It doesn’t explain each of the concepts in detail, for it’s still a story, not a paper on each item.

Entertaining and engaging, I decided to purchase a copy, and I got the entire series: Celestine Prophecy, Tenth Insight, and The Secret of Shambala (the 12th insight).

Incidentally, we have 12 strands of DNA which is another story…